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Vampirewitch39's Journal


Vampirewitch39's Journal

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PROFILE




49 entries this month
 

20:04 Sep 30 2008
Times Read: 1,986


I am going to take some time off VR, off the internet total. Life is so up in the air for me right now, and the hours I spend online is just time I can use to try and get my life back to normal. That and I need to spend time with my mom.



So I will check in, write a little in my journal but keeping it private as I deal with my life.



*hugs*



Be safe everyone and see you soon.



COMMENTS

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PRIVATE ENTRY

19:41 Sep 30 2008
Times Read: 1,987


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •


 

PRIVATE ENTRY

15:04 Sep 29 2008
Times Read: 1,330


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •


 

13:51 Sep 28 2008
Times Read: 1,363


Today is Sahahria B/D and I just have to share the song that reminds me of the Doe. Its just her, seeing it as what she would tell you if you felt down. Its her outlook on life, or how I see her. Never letting other stop her from what she wanted in life.







Love you sis.


COMMENTS

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sahahria
sahahria
20:51 Sep 28 2008

Love you too! :)





 

Week 2

05:25 Sep 28 2008
Times Read: 1,382


Is it stupid, ill mannered to do this? I just want to write how I feel, and let a few things go.



I got three emails from my sister today- or I found them today as I checked the mail. They was of Dad and the forklift, ones that I lost when this computer crashed. Seeing him with the usually hat and work clothing on, his gray eyes under those black framed glasses. I cried for a long time, curled up in bed. I must of slept as it was dark when I woke up again. I need to find all the pictures I have of him and get them printed out for us. He always hated having his picture taken. :) Sound like someone else you know?



The newspaper had a picture of him in his military uniform. The funeral ones had a picture of him with his brother a little over a year ago, riding on the back of a 4 wheeler on the farm. He did not know how to drive one, so his younger brother took him for a ride to see the family farm.



They drove by my Aunt's house and she snap a pic of them, dad waving with a smile on his face, having fun. She printed it out and framed it, bringing it to the office. It hangs in our office above daddy's desk. I can see it from my chair when I look up.



So heard about the moving van we used in the service. Seems my older sister did not think it was the right thing to do. My dad- who worked all his life to make the business, weekends, holidays. Even if we did not have a job he would do something- work on lights...something. It was how he was. He would tell you that if you asked him why he worked so much. But at 81 he was still smart as a tack... he was so proud of it. He would kid with me that I had no memory- how his was better then mine. He was right- I could not hold a candle to dad. He could take you back to a place he had been ten years ago, the cost of a motor part three years ago, and the scales in a state he had not been in twenty years, if they was still there. If you told him they was not- he would remember that and anything you told him.





Back to the moving van... So yes- mom said it was fine to put the one of the small moving vans behind the car that held dad, in front of her. It was fitting that he was taken to his finally resting place with a truck, in a way.



I could hear dad- he would of said it was a great way to get seen, as the oncoming cars had to stop. lol You have to understand my dad to know he would not say it in a rude way, but more in a fun way.



Anyway.... its what we wanted and screw his oldest daughter who has not ...or had not talked to dad in over three years. No calls, or anything. To us- she gave up her vote in what dad would of wanted.



Dad's had a older brother who worked all his life for a company and when he retired he told dad he would not work another day, not even to mow his yard. He was true to his word and he got altimers (?? spelling) within two years. Dad had been so worried about that. Its why he stayed busy, not so much the heavy work, but he kept his mind busy. The sister I talked of before said we worked dad to the grave, never let him have time off. I know she is just trying to get the "Poor me" vote, but that is not right.



Dad never did anything he did not want to- took afternoon naps, went home when he wanted to. Yes- he took care of the trucks- meaning he went and got parts for the people he was paying to fix them. He would see they was fueled, and ready to go. He would sweep the buildings out. For the rental he would buy the supplies, or pick up the ones I picked out in his pickup or larger truck if needed. Dad did say he wanted to stop packing dishes as it hurt his shoulders. He had started to train someone to do his job... was still training, sitting in a car, telling the man how, four days before he died.



I was doing what he wanted. I had already taken the truck driving out of his hands but for the driving needed to fuel and repairs as I knew his knees was hurting him. If you knew my dad you knew to NEVER hint that you was taking his ability to drive from him- you did it kind of stinky, and he did not fight me as he did not see it as a weakness to let me or the other men drive.



So the bitch sister got what she wanted- mom is upset, rest of us are mad. She really is stupid if she thinks I will not bite her in the ass for this one day. She will pay for what she said. I will see to that. Yes- none of us wore hundred dollars dresses to the service, suits. We was not there to put on a show for her. WE was there to honor our father's last wishes of a nice, plain service without a preacher who did the hell fire service. That is what daddy got.



I woke up Friday to a cold and four huge cold sores on my lips, mouth. Today the head is clogged. The customer Tues/Wen/Thur had a bad cold so I guess I got it. Thank god we got done a day early as I slept 13 hours Friday.



Ok... that is all that's on my mind for now.



Going to bed with a little whiskey. And a straw as my mouth is so sore. And god.... pity party for one needs to leave the building.


COMMENTS

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Elemental
Elemental
15:31 Sep 28 2008

OHHHH I think we need a circle to keep evil sisters away.....as soon as you are well. :)





Nightgame
Nightgame
03:43 Sep 29 2008

I'm with birdy on this one! The bitch of the north struck finally after waiting to decide how to hurt your mom the worst.





LadyChordewa
LadyChordewa
06:24 Oct 01 2008

Seems like every family has a particular idiot that they prefer, loose their way to the funeral. There is always one member of the family, that feels that they hurt worse, or deserve more attention.



Sorry dear but your sister is a bitch, who seemed like she looked down on your family, until it was advantageous for her.



Please take care of yourself and give yourself a hug from your owl.




 

The Right Stuff indeed.

23:31 Sep 27 2008
Times Read: 1,414


Been watching Discovery Channel shows on the space missions when they first started trying to beat Russia into space. I sat here and listen to these men that I learned of in school books way back when.



How the medical people did not know how no gravity would affect the body. They feared it would mess up the men’s lungs, ability to breathe. Effect the way they could move and think. Even a fear that the muscles in the eyes would be damaged with no gravity, going so far as saying the eye would lose its shape. Then when you fell back to earth like a rock into the ocean- the capsule would not break up, turn into a fire ball, or sink with you in it.



Think about it for a second… not only the guts to strap your ass to the top of a rocket in a capsule that no one knew if it would be able to handle the pressure, using designs that no one else ever used before to control the mission, you had the fear of your eyes running down your face, ear drums busting, and your lungs not working. How freaking nuts was you to even think of doing it?



The first few missions- the capsules went in space and back down within 15- 20 minutes. What would happen once your body was introduced to gravity again? Would you have injuries that they could not repair? Would you live thru it? Yes- there was the chimp, but these were the first men who put their lives on the line to develop the space program we have today. While any space travel has risk- from foam falling and damaging the ship, to computer issues…these men were the ones who took the first step and said after hours of waiting for repairs and checks, double checks, and more checks on the systems…



“Light this candle…let’s go.”

Alan B. Shepard, Jr.

Freedom 7

1961


COMMENTS

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borked
borked
23:33 Sep 27 2008

I'd do it in a blink





borked
borked
23:40 Sep 27 2008

I'll do most anything for a warm ride!





Nightgame
Nightgame
23:41 Sep 27 2008

These guys were my first real life heros as a kid watching the whole science of space flight develop.





Oceanne
Oceanne
23:41 Sep 27 2008

Hell yes!





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
00:32 Sep 28 2008

I must be the only chicken shit in the group then. lol I sat watching it saying...oh hell no... no way would I do it.





Elemental
Elemental
02:12 Sep 28 2008

For once Birdy is right there beside the Rat going Bok Bok Bok........and flapping wings......lol





Oceanne
Oceanne
07:05 Sep 28 2008

You kow darn well,even though we say "yeah! go! Id do it in a heartbeat"We would be scared crappless too.Anyone would be crazy not to.But oh would it have been exciting.





 

13:40 Sep 27 2008
Times Read: 1,436


Sometimes I just want to get on Nightgame's account and hit the forum with a few shades of purple.



Oh relax. I don't even know her password. And I would never do that to her. :P



Just saying.....



*sigh*



Time to visit the other site I go to. Can't wait for the Darknetworks sites to come online.



COMMENTS

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Nightgame
Nightgame
03:42 Sep 29 2008

So that's why purple is your newest favorite color! lol





 

Charity at its best.

19:23 Sep 26 2008
Times Read: 1,498


Charity is no more- welcome TheRat



I could not leave the account in that name- not after the person who brought it, who made such a big deal of leaving it in that name to show off what he did- left owing the charity the promised payment.



So now it is mine, at the cost he bid to win the account.



:)



If you don't know why TheRat- its my nickname here.



The pic is the one Otter did for me, and the background is done by our own Abstract.



Thanks ladies.


COMMENTS

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sahahria
sahahria
19:45 Sep 26 2008

Have I told you how much I:

1. adore you

2. think you are an awesome example of how to walk your talk?



You keep going girl, you shine :D





imagesinwords
imagesinwords
19:49 Sep 26 2008

:D





MiserableAtBest
MiserableAtBest
21:48 Sep 26 2008

What you did is great, and the profile looks awesome.





Nightgame
Nightgame
23:52 Sep 26 2008

Yea I love the name :) You rock!





borked
borked
23:55 Sep 26 2008

I like fur.





lestatsbride
lestatsbride
13:44 Sep 27 2008

nice background





Abstract
Abstract
14:57 Sep 27 2008

I absolutely love the background. :D



The whole thing looks nice, I love it.





 

15:48 Sep 26 2008
Times Read: 1,516


Ok...who knows how to change names here? :) I so need to read the manual more. lol



COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
15:50 Sep 26 2008

Personal Settings - Change Member Name



;)





 

03:24 Sep 26 2008
Times Read: 1,548


And it drops to level 25.



O.o



*giggles*



I don't know why but that is just soooo funny to me.



Ok- bed before I say or do something stupid.



COMMENTS

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LadyChordewa
LadyChordewa
06:08 Sep 26 2008





Tooo Late. :P *Owl hoots and flys away*




xxEmaeraldxx
xxEmaeraldxx
08:53 Sep 26 2008

o^O Swan stretches her neck, how did that happen? wow





 

00:23 Sep 26 2008
Times Read: 1,581


Rat drags her suitecase behind her into her bedroom. She lets it drop to the floor as she runs and turns on her air machine, and takes a deep cool fresh breath into her lungs as she hugs it tight, the house cooling as the A/C starts running. Not the window piece of shit that would cool the hotel room for a hour then stop working in the night.



"Oh I missed you air machine. No more sleeping with my mouth open and waking up to a sore throat. And a steady tempt of coolness to sleep with."



She turns and sees her bed. Rat takes a run and flops on her soft memory foam bed, the pains in her hips from sleeping in a hard as rock bed for the last two days still hurting.



"Oh bed bed bed beddy... I have missed you. Such soft sheets you have, and nice fluffly pillows to lay my head on. I have so missed you- as has my hips and back."



She gives a sigh of bless knowing she would have a shower then bed.



The Rat is home. :)



COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
01:12 Sep 26 2008

It's aaaaalways good to be home.



And, your picture is pretty... ^.^





LadyChordewa
LadyChordewa
06:07 Sep 26 2008





Welcome home. Home Sweet Home.




 

22:55 Sep 23 2008
Times Read: 1,612


Today I did my first pack job without Dad. The guys did the normal set up, and I went into the dining room to tackle the china hutch first thing. It was as I spead the moving pad onto the table that it hit me...dad was not here.



Our family had made the rule of no changes in the next 6 months. But it's not the same...he is not here. And truth told- I have been wanting out of the moving company for years.



Its just... 6 people livelyhood depend on us. And my sisters, and my own. We would have to sell the house my Mother and Father built, lived for 64 years.



Maybe I just need to give myself time. Half the times I wanted out of the company is times Dad and I butted heads. Will I like it better on my own? Or even less?



Anyway....



It hit me hard that dad was gone, packed some of the day crying. Poor Major thinks I am crazy as hell, and when he asked I said I had a back pain. Not a lie...really.



I will be 42 in the morning. Yeap- B/D 200 miles from home, alone but for the guys. But honestly- I am cool with that. I don't feel like a party or any gifts. Lady C sent me some snow... (in a bag to mix up) ...which touched me as she recalls I always wanted snow.



Cat gave me shirts and hair stuff. Just what I needed. Poor Birdy can't ever get me free a night but she will do a dinner and movie when we do. Air machine was from my family.



I am lucky in so many ways. I just need to remember that, right? Right.



Ok- bed for me. I get to sleep in till 7:00am.....great way to start my birthday. lol :)

I might even stop and get a donut. ;)


COMMENTS

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Elemental
Elemental
03:07 Sep 24 2008

I thought it would hit. Remember I love you and have my phone in reach at all times...sometimes...even in the bathroom .:)





Sevenn
Sevenn
20:48 Sep 24 2008

shoot-i though you were way older...like 80 or somethin' *dances around like a smart ass cuz I'm a few states away*



Anyway lady, you hang in there, you're a fighter, I can tell. Happy birthday, maybe you need to give yourself just some time to relax for your birthday. Check out...smoke a joint or whatever they do in Kentucky...drink whiskey? Shoot raccoons and make hats with tails? Hell I dunno. You can just be happy knowing I'm gonna get in big trouble from Meeper for teasing you!





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
11:51 Sep 25 2008

O.o MEEPER!!! Sevenn is teasing me again, making fun of us Ky. people.



:P



;)



*sits and watch as the fun starts*





lol Thanks Sevenn.... you the best.





Nightgame
Nightgame
05:25 Sep 26 2008

Give it the time sugar, you cannot rush a decision like this anyway and keeping it on your mind will just make you nuts... (I won't say it) Oh and I've got the popcorn to munch while we watch Meeper get Sevenn :)





 

22:42 Sep 22 2008
Times Read: 1,642


Today would of been my Mom and Dad's 64th wedding anniversary.



Mom has cried most of the day.



She asked to go to the graveyard, and my sisters are taking her.



:(


COMMENTS

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sPerAnZa
sPerAnZa
23:12 Sep 22 2008

*hugs*





Nightgame
Nightgame
23:20 Sep 22 2008

It's so hard sis but also a blessing that they had so long together. *hugs*





imagesinwords
imagesinwords
23:40 Sep 22 2008

64 years married? WOW. I know times are tough right now, but that number... yeesh, what a blessing!





LadyChordewa
LadyChordewa
00:01 Sep 23 2008

It takes special people to be so in love, after so much time. Congrats to them. I feel for your and your mother's loss.



Morrigon
Morrigon
00:16 Sep 23 2008

It's hard to keep telling yourself that you have so many memories to be joyful for when you are grieving. I know you are all doing both and for that, I admire you and your family.





queenmorbid
queenmorbid
01:58 Sep 23 2008

*hugs* I am so sorry for you and your family. I wish I could do something, but you know I am here for you, Rat. Wolfy loves you!





 

02:03 Sep 22 2008
Times Read: 1,689


Sometimes borked shocks me with what comes out of his mouth..hands? fingers? Anyway... How? Because that man can be sweet and kind when he wants to be. *hugs him tight*



Never fear- sure he will piss me off soon enough but right now.... he gets a hug and cold wet rat nose kiss. :)



Thank you for your words.


COMMENTS

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borked
borked
08:50 Sep 22 2008

What you did today is make Emmy and Joli and me and some other folks who are down on their luck a little happier :)





Joli
Joli
21:09 Sep 22 2008

She ALWAYS makes me happy. I told Images today that when I grow up, I want to be VW.



They just don't grow em good like you anymore, honey. I thank it's a southern thang. *mwa*





 

PRIVATE ENTRY

15:38 Sep 21 2008
Times Read: 1,695


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •


 

23:02 Sep 20 2008
Times Read: 1,728


Put up the fall profile I made up .... *thinks of when she and ferret talked about music, the last thing to pick*... over two weeks ago.



I don't expect I will do a Halloween one.



COMMENTS

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Abstract
Abstract
00:05 Sep 21 2008

I already did my Halloween one. XD



Fall works as well. Plus it can just carry over until Thanksgiving/Christmas.





 

22:14 Sep 20 2008
Times Read: 1,748



COMMENTS

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A week later...

21:31 Sep 20 2008
Times Read: 1,757


Friday was one of those days. You knew what you planned to do then those plans goes to freaking hell. Plan was to take the movie that I was transporting and the truck that needed worked to the shop. (Which happen to be in the same town.)



After a rough start I sat in the waiting room of the garage and used my cell phone to make calls about the clutch parts for another. After an hour I gave up, pissed that I could not think of any place to get the older parts, giving hours to what my father could of done in one. Yes- the old work horse truck that we put a rebuilt motor in…the 1980 Ford clutch parts are not made anymore which left my father doing the junkyards. Funny how you drive by those all the time but when you have to name them… you can’t think of any of them.



So I put the phone book away and sat at the dim room’s table. I hear the phones of the parts department, and smiled. Dad would be out there chatting away, talking to these people who knew him. Me? I just want to be left in the dim room and enjoy the peace. I pull some magazines to me and gave myself this time to just be me.



I started reading an interesting article about hydraulic pumps and how they work when one of the two ladies in the building comes in. She is carrying some catalogs that every office gets, nothing over $10.00. She tells me that she thought those would be more interesting then the men’s stuff. Knowing she is just trying to be nice, so I smiled a fake smile and adjusted the mask back on. I took them from her and chatted as she sat down, keeping me company from then on.



Truck finished and I drove home. Got a call on the cell and it’s from a junkyard. He had my parts. I had a little doubt about it as his place was only two towns away and not one I knew from its name. But he said he had the parts that I could not find after hours of calls so I pushed them aside, and even bite my tongue about his attitude on the phone. Yes- I did not know if it’s a short block or what ever motor. Don’t you hate how they make you feel stupid as hell with that attitude?



So off on the road again and find the place. Well… how to put it nicely… it was hell. His wife and he screamed at each other the whole time I was there. They fought about the parts I needed, his attitude leading to two calls to the man working on the truck, and him saying I needed to learn the basics of my truck. Here I am standing next to these stinky junkyard dogs (not the people- he really had five dogs that looked like they was sick), hearing his wife telling me about drug dealers in the area, cussing like a freaking sailor, screaming at him and him screaming back to shut her fucking mouth…and you want to tell me that?



I just kept telling myself to keep my mouth shut and waited for him to get the parts off the truck. After the hour from hell I had them in my hand. “I hope you brought plenty of money. Those parts are not going to come cheap. That part alone is worth $75.00. You can’t find them any where.”



I think that is what it took. I think the anger, the feeling of my back bone being straighten as I could hear my father’s words in my head. “Don’t be stupid…us what you have been taught.” Or maybe that was my own voice. “True. But I will sell the truck, which is in perfect shape but for these parts to the clutch brackets. If these parts are worth so much…then they will need other parts of the truck. Rebuilt motor or not- I will stripe it down and sell it off in pieces.” And Dad would of- he hated people who tried to rip others off. I had put up enough from this man. And his wife. This was done with. And never underestimat the power of anger for me. Fucker was not going to like playing with me.



Now I know why dad never mentioned this junk yard to me. I left the parts there and was ready to leave them. Dad would never put up with this shit.... and he was nicer then me. He walked away then turned back and said he would sell the entire parts- five total of shafts, braces, and rods for $100.00 cash. I paid him and as I left he said to let him know if I ever sell the truck I just said “Oh I will keep you in mind.” As in to never let anything with my name on it, anything of my fathers to end up here.



Seems my strength is back. I am sure I will have those days, those times when I just want to curl up and cry, but I do feel the old power coming back to me. I will make mistakes, I will have to learn as I go...but I have my family and friends. I have the ability to say "Fuck you" and walk away from ANYONE. I have to remember I can only do what I can. And most important to keep in mind - I have a choice. Just because Daddy is gone does not mean that has been taken from me. He would never wanted me to think like that. He worked his whole life to give me that choice and I will use it when I need to.



It would of been what he wanted me to do.


COMMENTS

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sahahria
sahahria
22:01 Sep 20 2008

*hugs* :)





 

21:29 Sep 20 2008
Times Read: 1,759


Reba McEntire- I'm Gonna Take That Mountain. Just a little kick ass song for the days ahead.




COMMENTS

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VampireYui
VampireYui
17:33 Sep 26 2008

Reba is awsome, love the woman!!!





 

Thank You.

00:35 Sep 19 2008
Times Read: 1,817


Say what you will about this site and its people who make it. I have just spent two hours returning messages from people who just wanted to say they was thinking of my family and me.



Some I expect, some was from strangers on the site who just read of it in the journals of my House mates. Now tell me- what other site has members that are just that freaking cool?



Other have commented on journals, my own few public entries that I shared with my friends, and I wish to thank them as well. Those comments touched my heart as well.



Sorry- not my usually writing self but I just want to say something about the people on this site that express concern - You are wonderful people and I thank you.



Kind words show you people care, they might share they have been in my shoes, not making me feel so alone in my pain. They may send you phone numbers to call if I need a shoulder to cry on. Or flowers that ended up on my alter.



From the words of “I’m sorry to hear of your loss” and so much more given to me during this time, I thank you all.



*Rat gives hug to all, and a cold nose kiss*



You all are “good people” as my father would say.


COMMENTS

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meeper
meeper
00:42 Sep 19 2008

You fall into the category of good people as well. So many people on this site whether close or strangers get that vibe from you, and it's why we all are here lining up for the hugs and even the controversial cold nose kisses.





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
00:45 Sep 19 2008

Just for that...extra cold nose kiss for you Meeper.



:P





queenmorbid
queenmorbid
00:46 Sep 19 2008

Rat, you are "good people" too and we all love you very much. I wouldn't trade your friendship for all the gold or diamonds or anything else in this world or the next.





SeleneIncarnate
SeleneIncarnate
00:47 Sep 19 2008

-huggg- Nicely said :D





Kontradiction
Kontradiction
01:33 Sep 19 2008

huggles...guess this means i get a cold nosie kiss too?



:O





Xzavier
Xzavier
02:33 Sep 19 2008

Don't think I'm good people :) But we defiantly love you hun and you have been in my prayers.



*hugs*





faeriemoon
faeriemoon
04:32 Sep 19 2008

Where I come from we call them Eskimo kisses. ;) *lines up for nose kisses*



Not long ago your kind words helped me through a difficult time with my daddy. The least I could do was return the favor. You are "good people" and I'm glad to call you friend. *more hugs*





Oceanne
Oceanne
06:59 Sep 19 2008

Its just nice to see you back,and to at least know that your welcome was warm and put a smile in your heart.





LadyChordewa
LadyChordewa
04:46 Sep 20 2008

Now if we can just figure out a way to make money with the kindness that you saw, we could fix the economy. *hugs rat*



 

22:15 Sep 18 2008
Times Read: 1,835


Yesterday I was on a job and someone made the comment “You don’t plan to close down some? Take some time to settle things?” Of course I think he was just being a little rude but…anyway.



Funny- a day of work, a job was never canceled. That is how my father would wanted it. Or as one of the man here said “It’s how her Dad rolled.“ Seven of my guys showed up at the funeral, on one day this month that we had no moves…seemed to just work out that way. Some people will judge me on this but really- my father would of said the person was gone, no need to stop the world for it. Sort of a “Get over yourself and move on”. Besides - work keeps my mind busy.



I went to our local International parts place to pick up a

speedometer cable (One of the repairs dad had been in the middle of) when I looked over to see the wall of truck mirrors. Long time ago one driver asked for the small mirrors you attached to the larger one, the one that shows you the trucks blind spot and it also helps when you are backing the truck up.



I had asked him about them over a month ago and he said he would get them but I never seem then appear. It was one of those nagging things you ask someone out of the blue, then forget for a week before you remember to ask again. I smiled- thinking my dad had so much going on around him with work and taking care of mom that he must of forgotten them.



So I asked the man behind the counter the kind I needed and he showed me my picks. I picked the ones I liked and he went off to the stock room to pull them. He returned with the exact three sets and the bill were Dad had brought them back in June. “He must of forgot he order them…they was sitting back there waiting on him to pick up. He already signed the ticket.” I had to smile…dad is still buying parts for me even now.

Saturday when it happen Cat was with me when I was told they could not bring him back. She was with me as I called my sister to tell Mom. Nita was there later and helped me deal, but poor Cat had to see my break down. For that Cat you will always love you as a sister. Cat and Birdy helped me deal, me standing next to my fathers coffin as the people filed in, looking over to see them talking, watching as my mask covered my pain. They took me out to ice cream later that night, not shocked that I was giving a little humor into the time.



Nerves of still, will of iron am I. I can shut myself down, take my emotions away from me, slipping the mask. I can sit at my father’s funeral and not shed a tear as I held my sisters hand, shake hands with strangers and hug friends as I listen to their words as well as I can let strangers touch me without cringing. Hell- I can even tell something funny that my dad did with that person, giving us both a smile or even a laugh. Several times the funeral home had my own laughter echoing off the walls. Sure that will be commented on by the town (she sure never acted sad) but my father would of done the same thing. He was never sad long, always able to see something funny in anything. And he would of seen it as a long life that should be remembered, not cried over. 81 years of life, not a day of death.



I can tell the “problem” sister off with a smile on my face, putting the law down in front of my father’s family of who was in charge- his wife, I was just the keeper of her wishes. I can keep myself from slapping my oldest sister who acted like she lost her own heart, carrying on so, busting out in alligator tears as I remember she had not talked to or seen Dad in three years.



When she put seven pictures of, as she put it, “his only grandchild” in the coffin I had no problem removing them and putting them in his suite coat pocket along with the hanky and toothpick my sisters wanted him to have. I faced her anger and kept my own under control as my father wanted, but not letting her run over me or my mother. And I could just hear what my dad would of said about the pictures “Hell I would not know who they are- only seen the kid once when she was two”. I can do all that with out batting a eye lash…. but today I cried as I walked out with those parts, looking down at his signature. It’s the little things that we shared that will break my mask, catch me off guard. This is part of daddy no one else in the family got to see.



I lost my father, yes. But I also lost my business partner and friend. I have been taught strength from him, the common sense that will see me thru this, all those talks, showing me this and that on trucks, the ability to laugh at my mistakes and make fun of them and understanding what is important in life.



So here’s to gaining the strength…. any time now….should be real soon….any minute…


COMMENTS

-



Kontradiction
Kontradiction
22:17 Sep 18 2008

((hugs))





Sinora
Sinora
22:27 Sep 18 2008

Do whatever works for you and never mind what anyone else thinks.





Morrigon
Morrigon
22:45 Sep 18 2008

81 years of life, not a day of death.





You already have your strength :)





Nightgame
Nightgame
19:49 Sep 19 2008

You carried me through my own breakdown sugar and I love you too. I'm awfully proud of you and how you carried this off and the devil with any who would try and say anything bad about your behavior.





LadyChordewa
LadyChordewa
04:44 Sep 20 2008

Definately your father's daughter. It sounds like your father was a selfless man, that looked for the joy in even the most grim of situations. He would have been proud of you dear. *hugs the rat*



 

03:33 Sep 18 2008
Times Read: 1,863


Song in honor of my father.







I will think of you when I pass this way

and I'll hold onto every memory made

and I know you're gone and life goes on but I will think of you



How do I tell you goodbye

its fine to say whats done is done

just move on into the sun

but I cant find the light

so I will think of you when the rain falls

and I will drink to you when the night calls

and I hope you as i'm letting go

that I will think of you



How do I tell you goodbye

Its fine to say whats done is done

Just move on into the sun

but I can't find the light



Arainy night in LA

a long talk on that day in may

the first time that you looked my way

and I will think of you when the dawn breaks

and the night is thru when the sun awakes

the I'll look up high at the same blue sky

and Iwill think of you



How do I tell you goodbye

Its fine to say whats done is done

Just move on into the sun

but I can't find the light

so I will think of you


COMMENTS

-



KCRC
KCRC
03:50 Sep 18 2008

*HUGS*





LadyChordewa
LadyChordewa
04:36 Sep 18 2008



*BIG HUGS*




faeriemoon
faeriemoon
04:46 Sep 18 2008

It's times like these where I don't know what to say.



May you find the strength to get through each moment not just in yourself but, draw from those of us who care for you. *HUGS*





Sevenn
Sevenn
05:39 Sep 18 2008

you are in our thoughts *hug*





 

PRIVATE ENTRY

02:35 Sep 18 2008
Times Read: 1,872


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •


 

19:24 Sep 15 2008
Times Read: 1,917


I have never needed my mask more then I have the next two days.



I just hope it holds out.



COMMENTS

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BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
19:29 Sep 15 2008

Hey hun, you have a friend who will stand by you with any or no mask you choose.





Sinora
Sinora
19:48 Sep 15 2008

It will. Then afterwards you wont need your mask anymore, your friends will see to that...*hugs*





xxEmaeraldxx
xxEmaeraldxx
19:58 Sep 15 2008

My thoughts, love and prayers are with VW, truly.. *hugs* Pammy xxx





KCRC
KCRC
22:26 Sep 15 2008

Hang in there Rat!



We're here if you need us.





LadyChordewa
LadyChordewa
22:45 Sep 15 2008



Your nerves of steel...of course it will hold out. But your mask is powerless to those of us that know you. *hugs*




Joli
Joli
22:10 Sep 16 2008

Hurting for you and trying to hold you up with prayer and love in the small ways we can.





 

PRIVATE ENTRY

01:36 Sep 15 2008
Times Read: 1,973


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •


 

09:17 Sep 14 2008
Times Read: 2,020


I keep thinking of a balloon. A balloon tied to a rock with a long string. This rock keeps the balloon from getting lost, from blowing away in the wind, the storms of every day. The balloon weathers the storms, the darkness and the cold because it knows the rock will keep it safe, always its anchor.



I lost my anchor.



I lost my daddy.





Thanks for the messages- they meant to world to me at this time.


COMMENTS

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Joli
Joli
09:32 Sep 14 2008

He isn't lost. He's everywhere you look and still your anchor. Any time you need him, check your heart. He'll always be there when you do.



We love you so much.





LadyKrystalynDarkstar
LadyKrystalynDarkstar
09:53 Sep 14 2008

You're in my heart. *huggles*





Sinora
Sinora
10:23 Sep 14 2008

My thoughts join the many going out to you and yours at this time *hugs*





queenmorbid
queenmorbid
16:30 Sep 14 2008

I love you, Rat. No matter where you go or what you do.





Kontradiction
Kontradiction
18:11 Sep 14 2008

((hugs))



we're here for you.





KamarillaKaine
KamarillaKaine
18:52 Sep 14 2008

just a *hug*

:)





Abstract
Abstract
19:23 Sep 14 2008

*hugs*






Oceanne
Oceanne
20:54 Sep 14 2008

I was very sorry to learn of this.My thoughts are with you.Hang in there.

~Hugs~





LadyChordewa
LadyChordewa
23:24 Sep 14 2008

I think we all knew that he was your anchor. The way you spoke of him in your journal, you spoke of the love and respect you had for him, for his years of working and what he taught you through all the years. I agree with Morri, in that all you have to do, is look in your heart and at your family. You will find aspects him in all of your family. Remember him with joy. Talk about memories, the ones that have you in stitches, the ones that taught you something. Then he will be remembered by all.



meeper
meeper
01:06 Sep 15 2008

The people we love, never really leave us. They remain with us through the cherished memories. It is those thoughts that sustain us, that allow us to be immortal until the day we are able to meet each other again.



~hugs, cheese, and everything good in the world~





KCRC
KCRC
01:23 Sep 15 2008

As your other friends have said, he is still there with you and always will be. I still feel the presence of my Mother and Father at those times that I need help and support. Your Dad will still be there for you...You have but to seek him in your heart.



Love ya Rat!





Maledicta
Maledicta
19:49 Sep 15 2008

*hug*



I wish it could be a real one.





Scarlett
Scarlett
23:16 Sep 20 2008

Love never ends... He will always love you





 

PRIVATE ENTRY

04:28 Sep 14 2008
Times Read: 2,025


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •


 

16:36 Sep 13 2008
Times Read: 2,055


Took some pictures of my House mates on our last outside day. :)



The House Eternal gang...




COMMENTS

-



 

Hardball anyone?

15:21 Sep 12 2008
Times Read: 2,083


I go out this morning to do a estimate for packing. Man is moving himself, but wants the packing done for him. he is going the cheap route, wanting to get by as cheap as he can. He is the kind of customer that you have to watch as far as "But you are over you estimate by $80.00" whine.



I just got off the phone with him.



"It's that high? Wow... that much?" He then said I was $520.00 more then the other estimate, but thanks for coming out. *click*



*looks at the phone*



"You know... I was trying to be honest about it. I would of been under my estimate... I LIKE cushion on my estimates because I HATE to be over them. And like you would not give me shit if I was. I don't tell people one price, knowing full well it's going to be more, I don't play that game. But it seems I am going to have to start. As the price is set on the boxes we packed, it might of been lower. But that is alright little fucker...don't let me explain that to ya. Dick head... did not know you wanted me to play hard fucking ball with ya. I will live and learn. And by the way- I hope the other company fucks you over for that $500.00."



*slams phone down*



Fucker.....


COMMENTS

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sahahria
sahahria
16:05 Sep 12 2008

Don't change your ways because of this asshat. What you do, I can only hope and pray I find when I move- because that is why many people do not like moving companies, they lie to you, and then when you don't have the funds for over budget- no one wins.



What you do is truly appriciated by people such as myself who can not move themselves, but do not want to be lied to.





meeper
meeper
19:43 Sep 12 2008

I'm sure you saved yourself some headaches by not taking on this job with such an argumentative cheapskate.





 

WOW! That is me?? You are kidding...

02:49 Sep 12 2008
Times Read: 2,116


Over two years ago I found the VR angry artist profile. At that time I knew I would love to have a picture done by her. Later we meet and I have come to call her a dear friend.



A few months ago she told and shared with me that she was opening her own website, starting her own business. I joked that I was standing in line to place my order, but really... I was not kidding. lol



This is a woman who is able to take your words and put them into a picture. She asked what I wanted and I gave her a few words…and she gave me just what I wanted.



Before, with my limited editing skills-







And the piece of art work she returned to me-







I don’t have the words for this. When I open the email the first thought was- who is that? I love the look…the butterflies are so sparkle…then I looked at the face closer…and it’s me! Stunned is all I can say. I never looked so good. She did turn this turkey into a swan. :)



Here is Morrigon site if you wish to check it out, see her work. I can’t wait to see what come next from this talented artist.



Thanks Otter. I love it.


COMMENTS

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imagesinwords
imagesinwords
03:15 Sep 12 2008

That's truly awesome :) I also made prints of a picture she did for me, and bought other prints I have framed in my living room :D



I will definitely buy more!





Abstract
Abstract
03:32 Sep 12 2008

*stands in line*



I'm going to have to get one done too. She did an amazing job as always.





Elemental
Elemental
05:33 Sep 12 2008

DAYUM that is a trick to "turn a turkey into a swan" - but you aren't a turkey ---you IS A RAT!!! :)



No kidding - it is a neat pic. She did a lot of work on it.





Joli
Joli
07:21 Sep 12 2008

I guess it's ok...if you like that professional and beautifully edited look. *shrug* Give me free clip art and MS Paint and I am a GOD!!!!





mtsoul77
mtsoul77
13:36 Sep 12 2008

It's wonderful!



Turning a turkey into a swan? No way! You were always a swan. I think what happened is that you are finally able to see yourself the way other people see you. You are a beautiful person, both inside and out.





LadyChordewa
LadyChordewa
01:44 Sep 13 2008

I agree, you were never a turkey dearest. I would love to stand in line, but I'm afraid. One step at a time, making me girly. First learning makeup....then clothes...then pictures. EEK!!!



Nightgame
Nightgame
23:15 Sep 13 2008

Now see I always knew how good you cleaned up! You always made it easy for us plain folk to get by unnoticied! lol It's a really beautiful piece of art sugar.





 

02:00 Sep 12 2008
Times Read: 2,143


HOLY SHIT..... I AM PRETTY! You guys are not going to believe this one.... WOW!



*can't wait to get it paid for so I can show it off*


COMMENTS

-



Bones
Bones
02:07 Sep 12 2008

You've always been pretty, how much better can it get? ;P





Clandestine
Clandestine
02:08 Sep 12 2008

puhlease, you're a beauty queen!





ThePinja
ThePinja
02:12 Sep 12 2008

garuh?





KCRC
KCRC
03:05 Sep 12 2008

You know, Mori does amazing work but your beauty is YOUR beauty. Mori just enhanced it.





 

Sorry Puppy!!

22:10 Sep 11 2008
Times Read: 2,159


Just called RedQueen cell to see how she is doing...and woke her hubby up. Hey- how was I to know she did not have the phone with her?



O.o



Ohhhh ohhh..... I am in trooouble.



lol



But have to say it- DAMN!!!



*fans face*



That is one lucky pup.


COMMENTS

-



 

18:58 Sep 11 2008
Times Read: 2,184


I was right! I did "sleep shop" for wigs. Dang it.... oh well. Might be fun playing with them some. :)



I tried one on at work and took a picture to share with you.



Photobucket Image Hosting



What do you think? Too Donald Trumpish?



LOL


COMMENTS

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MysticMoon
MysticMoon
19:01 Sep 11 2008

roflmao.. love it





Morrigon
Morrigon
19:12 Sep 11 2008

*dies* that's awesome!





Kontradiction
Kontradiction
19:47 Sep 11 2008

you are adorable!





Nightgame
Nightgame
00:09 Sep 12 2008

Damn it what's with the blond bush.... you trying to give me a hairball?





 

17:01 Sep 11 2008
Times Read: 2,200


House Eternal?



*turns to hug the otter, who trips the bull, who falls on the doe. Doe looks up from under the bull and licks the rat on the face as the otter lets out a playful cherp*



That is why I call this place home. No matter what I say or how I feel the House Family is there to help each other out. And the group hugs are the bestest.



Thank you guys. :)


COMMENTS

-



imagesinwords
imagesinwords
17:19 Sep 11 2008

thank all deities for the House!





faeriemoon
faeriemoon
17:26 Sep 11 2008

*faerie flies out of the way* I was just coming in for a hug too! *laughs*





Abstract
Abstract
17:58 Sep 11 2008

*runs in and yells "DOGPILE"*



:)





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
18:43 Sep 11 2008

Rat gives a "Ofppp* as the ferret lands on top.



Family... got to love them. :)





KCRC
KCRC
20:32 Sep 11 2008

Sorry Doe.



Sometimes I'm really more of an "Ox" than a Bull!





Nightgame
Nightgame
00:09 Sep 12 2008

A good thing to have around here :)





sahahria
sahahria
02:10 Sep 12 2008

Have you seen a deer's ass? Heh ^.^





 

13:37 Sep 11 2008
Times Read: 2,225


The House is talking about a meet up, at a time I can go!! Even in a area close. So happy as I plan to go meet these people I have made freinds with.



Then Disney was pulled out to talk about. That is Orlando. My aunt lived there and I swear to never return. We use to go to Disney when we visit her, stayed weeks with her in the winter. I remember her having dinner ready when we returned, listen to all us kids talking... a woman who hated kids as I do. lol She loved us so much.



I wonder if her flowers are still in her garden? If the house has changed a lot. I can still see the home, her driveway... I can still remember hearing mom talking of how the cops went at night to test her motion det lights as a neighbor saw them come on that night.... I remember the pictures of the kitchen, the black finger print powder. I remember the pictures of the kitchen cabinet door being off as evidence of blood splatter.



When will I ever remember the good only about my Aunt? Will I ever?



My dreams were so bad last night.... and that is just with a thought of her home ... of Orlando. Hell I am crying just typing this out.



I have tried to bury my hate, sadness but the idea of me going back to that town just kills me. But maybe I do need to go back, face it.



I don't know.



And none of this has anything to do with Disney. I should just hold onto the good, right? If we go there I should enjoy being with friends.



Yes- that is what I should do. Its a fun place and has changed so much since I been there. Our family had such fun at the park.



*holds onto the good*


COMMENTS

-



sahahria
sahahria
14:12 Sep 11 2008

*hugs*





KCRC
KCRC
15:07 Sep 11 2008

*Big Bull Hug*



We each deal with things in our own way. For me, though issues were far less traumatic, it was necessary to face such locations and not let evil "win" by dictating where I can go.



You need to do what you think is best for you....And if Orlando is too painful for you to be comfortable....We should pick somewhere else.





Morrigon
Morrigon
15:15 Sep 11 2008

*big otter hug, bigger than bull's hug* :P



Maybe you need to face it, maybe you don't. Just go with how you feel each day.





 

9/11

13:14 Sep 11 2008
Times Read: 2,232



COMMENTS

-



 

23:41 Sep 10 2008
Times Read: 2,261


Watching the news and thinks... wonder if I can go say to Meeper "Lipstick on a pig" if she will chase me off? lol



Good lord ... what next?


COMMENTS

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WildChild
WildChild
01:11 Sep 11 2008

That was just fucked up funny hearing that come out of Obonga's lips





meeper
meeper
01:37 Sep 11 2008

Got to love divisive politics.





Nightgame
Nightgame
00:08 Sep 12 2008

and here I had no ideal he'd studied McClain's makeup choices that close





 

Natural look...per Lady C request. :)

19:50 Sep 10 2008
Times Read: 2,286


Lady C asked me for help on her make up. She wanted a natural looking, easy to apply regime. Now Lady C is a lovely lady, who natural beauty is not something you want to cover with a lot of make up anyway, so I said I could give her the look with 5 easy steps.



We talked a little about her skin type, eye color, what her concerns were and what she wanted from wearing make up. I took into account her not having much experience with applying, that she wears contacts and wanted what ever woman wanted- to just look pretty.



Step 1- Bare Escentuals Powder foundation. This is made of pure crushed minerals, with SPF 15 is free of the additives, binders, preservatives, and fragrances which can irritate skin. It is so easy to use, you do not have to be concern about streaking or smearing. But there is a trick you have to understand. You flip the jar over and tap the bottom to put a little foundation in the top. Flip it back over and open. This is when you use the brush to “pick up” the powder and tap it against the lid of the jar. Swirl the brush in the lid, tap against the lid to remove the loose powder and you are ready to use.



Lady C wears contacts so this is when she would need to close her eyes. I know I know- you worry about not putting it on right but this foundation is NOT the kind you have to worry about, see it more as a lotion. You move your hair off you face and start in the middle of your forehead. Just move the brush in a small circle and work it over your skin. Reload it by the swirl and tab, and keep covering your face with the powder. Trust me- if you use the swirl tap move- you will not have a problem with this foundation. Keep applying till you are happy with the coverage, building the layers to the amount you want.



Step 2- Bare Escentuals Mineral Veil. This is a loose powder, a setting powder. The way you put it on is the same way you did the foundation. I use the same brush even. Remember to swirl, tap, and circular motions on your face. Keep your eyes closed, don’t worry about how is going on. You really can’t fuck this stuff up. You can never put too much or too little. Once you have your face a nice canvas we add color.



Step 3- Laura Geller Balance and Bright. This is great product that I use as blush and eye shadow. One of the best ways to have a natural look is to stay with the same color on your eyes and checks. Like the foundation it goes on with a swirl and tap. Once you have the brush loaded you need to look in the mirror and smile. Yes… smile. Lady C has the cheeks that I do- those round little baby cheeks. For a natural look blush should go where the sun hits your cheeks. Not straight across, not up and down in a line. The round part of your cheek is the place to put the color with a slow stroke upward toward your ear, into your hair line. Just remember… follow the sun. Apple of your cheek and sweeping upward toward your ear/temple. Apply till you are happy with the color.



Now for the eyes. Using the same brush you want to pick up a little of the loose powder in the compact and tap. Take the large brush that will cover your whole eye area and place it on the inside of your eye- up toward your nose. Now just bring it across your eye to the end of your brow. Don’t worry about lines or blending, just sweep the color from nose to the outer eye. If you wish to try a little more, then take your pinky finger and run it over the compact to get some color and run it under the bottom eye lash like eyeliner. You can use a Q tip if you don’t want to use your finger.



Step 4- Bare Escentuals Weather Everything Waterproof Mascara. First you want to take your fingers and rub your eyebrows clean of powder. Lady C had dark eyebrows and really does not need to add color to them, so just a brushing of fingers will remove the loose powder. Lady C also had concerns with mascara flaking and her with contacts. I would buy waterproof mascara as it is make to stay put. If you use a drops on your eyes, it will not smear, or if you sweat as in my case. Waterproof is the best mascara to stay on the lash and this should handle her concerns.



How to apply? Well… I have seen and done it several ways but I always go back to the wiggle. First- do not pump the wand in and out of the tube. That just adds air and dries it out. If the wand comes out with no mascara then it’s done with. And you do need to buy a new mascara at least every year, more like 6 months. The other items listed are minerals so they can keep well over time, but this one thing does need replaced often.



Ok so you have the wand ready now what? You start on the top lash, outer side. Place the wand close to the lash line and as you bring it upward, wiggle it from side to side. I find looking down into a mirror as I do this keeps me from getting mascara off my skin. You step over to the next area of lash then do the bottom the same, looking upward to keep it from getting on your skin. You can put more then one coat on but you need to give the first coat a few minutes to dry. If you get it on your skin, wet a Q tip with make up remover and just dap it off, saving your make up from being rubbed off.



Ok… now Step 5- Bare Escentuals Set of 3 Radiance Lip Glosses. I like a little shine on my lips. Not a wet shinny teenager kind of shine, but a shine that just gives your lips a sexy look. Nude, pink, and brown is the ones you will need to start with. I have many many many lip colors but these are the basics that you will need. No liner, blotting, no three to four steps…just use the wand to color your lips.



That is the five steps to a natural look. Time is not a issue as once you learn the steps you can do it in just a few minutes. I tested it- I did it in 2 minutes, with using the mirror only for my mascara. But if you wish to add a little more punch then lets play with a darker brown eye shadow. Lady C eyes have brown, gray and a little green in them and the brown should bring the different colors out even more.



You can use the brown with a Q tip, finger tip, or small brush to use as a eyeliner. Just don’t put too much on your brush. Any shadow you should just stick your brush in, putting a little of it in the lid of the shadow. Start with a small amount as you can add so much easier then remove if you put too much on. Same as above- you run it along the bottom of the lash line from outer eye to the nose. You should try it also from outer eye to the middle of your eye. Really- playing is the best way to learn what looks good on you. Try the brown color on the upper eye lash also. Outer eye to the inner eye toward you nose in as fine as a line as you can make, or just half way.



Also try adding the brown on your eyelid. Try it on the outer edge only- about 1/3 of the lid from the outer edge, taking it a little upward into your crease. Play- but ALWAYS blend the colors together. Clear your small brush by running your finger over it, flicking it, to remove all the powder. Just run it over the eye as you should never see lines on your eyes where the color changes, it should just bleed into each other.



Trick on the multi color eye shadow is getting the left and right eye to match. Practice practice practice is the only way to get good at this skill. And it is a skill. Last things- I know I picked makeup that does cost more then what you can pick up at the drugstore. Make up is like shoes- you use it everyday then get the stuff that will last longer, hold up, and is just plain better looking. Lipstick that I put on once or twice a day is going to do better then the cheap ones that takes ten or more coats a day.



And these are just my own thoughts. Lady C asked me for help and I am giving it. You have your way, and I have mine. I love make up and have played with it since I was 12, all kinds and brands. I am just honored Lady C asked me for help. And if Vista had not been a ass you could have seen this on video. lol



Just to show I am not blowing smoke ... here is me with no make up.



Photobucket Image Hosting



Then me with only the steps listed above. And no editing on photoshop. All natural, with a little help. :)



Photobucket Image Hosting



God I need a hair cut and dye job... don't I? lol


COMMENTS

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Kontradiction
Kontradiction
20:16 Sep 10 2008

i wear bare escentuals and people ask me why i have such great skin.



it's called, take care of it with stuff that won't irritate it!





imagesinwords
imagesinwords
20:42 Sep 10 2008

I use that stuff too :)





misterstikki
misterstikki
21:11 Sep 10 2008

I dated a chick once that used krylon, I think that was the name of it. Yeah...it was krylon cuz she had to shake the can up real good to apply it.





Abstract
Abstract
21:32 Sep 10 2008

*also uses that stuff*



It is awesome for covering up pretty much anything. And it doesn't do funky tricks in the humidity.





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
23:43 Sep 10 2008

Thanks Ladies. Your comments makes me more positive on my picks for Lady C.



:)





Kontradiction
Kontradiction
00:34 Sep 11 2008

of course!





B.E. is truly the best choice out there for make-up these days.





LadyChordewa
LadyChordewa
05:25 Sep 11 2008

*Bites my nails, reading all of this* Riiiggghhhttt. I will be lucky to know which end is up on the lip gloss, let alone doing my eyes. Thank you for all the compliments Rat, very rarely have I had people notice my skin, or eyes, or smile. I hope this is as easy as you say. I take it, before and after pictures are needed. *sighs*



*Makes plans to print and highlight and study Rat's journal entry*




Nightgame
Nightgame
00:15 Sep 12 2008

BE is so forgiving especially for those not as dap a hand in applying it as you are Rat! lol Yep she got me using it too





 

Well fuck...

00:17 Sep 10 2008
Times Read: 2,314


I did a video to show Lady C how to do makeup and I can't get it to load off Vista onto Photobucket.



*kicks vista*



Piece of shit....



Why the hell will you not even load into a email?



---.---



Hate you little fucker.


COMMENTS

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LadyChordewa
LadyChordewa
06:18 Sep 10 2008

Awwwww. *pouts*



Kontradiction
Kontradiction
20:22 Sep 10 2008

vista sucks ass.





 

21:35 Sep 09 2008
Times Read: 2,332


Teach you to not pick on a otter. :P



'Planet Earth' clip: Otters'Planet Earth' clip: Otters



But still... not one to visit often. :)



Click here


COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
22:44 Sep 09 2008

hah those are great clips! Thanks for posting them so I can watch ^.^





 

Some males.... Grrrr.

18:04 Sep 09 2008
Times Read: 2,355


Really…why do woman always have to have a man up their ass? I have heard it so many times “She will do what I say.” “She is too stupid to be on her own.” “She needs taken care of.”



Well guess what? Two things I need males for. One is to lift heavy things. The other is for a certain body part. Both services can be paid for.



:P



*hates how a man at work talks about his girlfriend*


COMMENTS

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KCRC
KCRC
18:18 Sep 09 2008

A "certain body part"?



The HELL with lifting heavy things....How much does THAT job pay?





deathnitegrl
deathnitegrl
19:02 Sep 09 2008

I really can't stand how certain males talk about us, we're in 2008 and they still believe we are inferior to them. Where's equality?





Sevenn
Sevenn
21:20 Sep 09 2008

You know that they make just the "part"...right? No risk of even having to hear one talk. ;)





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
21:49 Sep 09 2008

O.O Sevenn.... *shocked*





Sevenn
Sevenn
17:23 Sep 10 2008

you're shocked...yeah..surrrrre you are...lol





 

16:32 Sep 09 2008
Times Read: 2,363


Thank you mtsoul for the picture you made me and my friends. :) You the best person and I am so lucky to have you as a friend.



It's Birdy, Cat and the Rat. So cute. :)




COMMENTS

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meeper
meeper
18:14 Sep 09 2008

Awwwww





Nightgame
Nightgame
01:50 Sep 10 2008

No you know I have to steal this right? Thank you MTSoul, it's truly awesome.





imagesinwords
imagesinwords
20:42 Sep 10 2008

Rockin' image there!





mtsoul77
mtsoul77
03:22 Sep 14 2008

You're welcome :)



I don't know how I didn't notice this entry before. LOL





 

14:15 Sep 09 2008
Times Read: 2,378


*butt wiggle and grin*



Found out today something I wanted has past all the state rules, stupid forms, and butt kissing.



Yeah ME!!



*hips sway and laugh*



Now that I own it...what to do with it?



lol



Oh well...



:)


COMMENTS

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KCRC
KCRC
14:19 Sep 09 2008

It depends on what "it" is, doesn't it?





borked
borked
14:27 Sep 09 2008

A hotrod?





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
16:32 Sep 09 2008

Nope- its a new company for me.





meeper
meeper
18:13 Sep 09 2008

Dress it up and take it for a spin!





sahahria
sahahria
18:20 Sep 09 2008

YAY congrats :D





Nightgame
Nightgame
01:49 Sep 10 2008

*does the fat tailed boogie in celebration* Congrats sis!





 

23:48 Sep 08 2008
Times Read: 2,399


*Rat closes the door on the heat and turns the A/C control down to 65. She walks to one of the air vents and falls face down as the cool air blows her fur back. She gives a sigh of relief and turns her face to the side to look at you..*



Wake me up in 11 hours, would ya?



*Rat closes her eyes, a smile coming to her hot little body*



COMMENTS

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Joli
Joli
06:34 Sep 09 2008

I smell...breezy rat.





 

21:06 Sep 07 2008
Times Read: 2,426


I first laid eyes on him over dinner Friday night. I have spent the weekend with him and all I can say is.... Dexter is the man of my dreams.



The dark wet ones.



lol



;)



Wonderful TV show... hits home in sooo many ways with me.





COMMENTS

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meeper
meeper
22:08 Sep 07 2008

Dexter is such a hugable serial killer. Just finished watching season two and can't wait till the third season makes its way to DVD.





Sevenn
Sevenn
22:16 Sep 07 2008

They are releasing a Season 3 preview to Dexter on the bonus features of Season 2 of Brother, which is released October 7th. ;)





VanDick
VanDick
23:03 Sep 07 2008

That is a fav of the wife's too.She thinks Dexter is me.





sahahria
sahahria
23:16 Sep 07 2008

hmmmm Dexter....



*grins, and stares off to the sky*





 

23:50 Sep 04 2008
Times Read: 2,455


Long day... came online to check VR... and see Meeper avatar had been to visit me.



All is well now- Meeper is back.



:)



*goes to bed...thinking of the questions to ask Lady C about makeup soon*


COMMENTS

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LadyChordewa
LadyChordewa
01:57 Sep 05 2008

Uh oh....*looks worried, then does a Shultz impersonation* I know nuffin!!! I know nuffin!!!!



Bones
Bones
02:05 Sep 05 2008

Make-up, what do you mean? You want to hide that beautiful woman underneath warpaint? ;P





meeper
meeper
01:24 Sep 06 2008

The committee to rename Rats to Aaardvarkians is back :)





 

22:11 Sep 03 2008
Times Read: 2,483


*pops the top of a cold beer*



Thank God that is over.



100% on time

100% no damage

100% happy as it’s under the estimate by $580.00

100% satisfaction

100% would recommend us



Damn… my guys are good! I see tips coming their way. :)



COMMENTS

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Nightgame
Nightgame
23:03 Sep 03 2008

Hot Dang! That's got to be a gold plated Halo you're wearing. :) Congrats sugar I know it's good to have it over with.





KCRC
KCRC
14:05 Sep 04 2008

Great job....Now go get some ice on your tounge! It must be badly swollen from all the biting you had to do to it!





 

Stuff of the day....

21:28 Sep 02 2008
Times Read: 2,509


I took my first step to Sainthood today. Really I did. Aka- the Father is still alive, I did not cuss, the boys did a great job on loading and I answered all his mothers questions YET again. Not only again- but with a freaking smile on my face.



*thinks of the payday....thinks of the payday*



Why do I watch Animal Cops on TV when it just makes me cry? Why? I cry because they save the animal, or because they could not. I just cry like a baby. No wonder Mom never let my sisters and brother watch Lassie when I was a kid. Such a freaking baby.



And I put a forum thread up on the main forum about Phantom Pets and how I am visited by my cats that past away a few years ago. And not one person is calling me crazy as hell. Kind of though I would at least be called that a few times.



O.o



But then we do have some great Dominars on the site. :)



Ok- food then bed early. Going to the capital in the morning. Have to take my camera and gets some shots to share with ya.


COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
21:31 Sep 02 2008

Now you have to wear a robe everywhere. Saint Rat ;)





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
00:03 Sep 03 2008

I don't know....loose robe, sandles. Don't see the bad side of this. ;)





Babaganoosh
Babaganoosh
07:24 Sep 03 2008

Shall I fetch you a halo? ^.^



Any movie/show with animals in it has me crying everytime. Lion King, My Dog Skip, Animal Rescue, Bambi...Any of them, and you can guarantee I will bawl.

I even cried in The Ring when the horse died!





KCRC
KCRC
19:34 Sep 03 2008

The Pope has been alerted!



You will be beatified next Tuesday.





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
22:14 Sep 03 2008

:P Funny bull.



Old Yellow... I was sick after watching that movie. Just these words makes me sad.





Nightgame
Nightgame
23:03 Sep 03 2008

I refused to watch Old Yeller when I found out the dog died. I'm tougher now but I don't like to watch any kind of animal abuse.





 

18:11 Sep 01 2008
Times Read: 2,525


Yesterday I spent the day with Birdy, Cat and another friend. It felt so nice, just having them around me. Laughing, joking, being at peace. Wonderful day. :)



And now I am eating left over's of Cat great food she cooked. Mmmm



All I can say to Birdy is...



DEAD MAN'S TOES!!





LMAO.





Gods I love those girls. :)


COMMENTS

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Nightgame
Nightgame
04:11 Sep 02 2008

ROFL... god that was so funny!



Love you too you crazy Rat!





Elemental
Elemental
14:33 Sep 02 2008

Dead Man's Toes on a string around Dead Man's chest......lol

It was good fun.








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